The Gift of Lament
For the last few decades, it has been popular for pastors and teachers to say that one-third of the Book of Psalms are laments. This is often said as a way of bringing comfort to those who are living through tragedy and trauma in their lives. “It’s okay to be mad at God. He can handle it,” I have often said in sermons and counseling sessions. And it is indeed true about both the number of sacred songs focused on lament and the okay-ness of ruthless honesty and complaint before God.
Take for example, David’s psalm of lament in Psalm 142. The context for his writing this song was that he was living on the run from a jealous and crazed King Saul. 1 Samuel 22:1-2 (NIV) gives us the circumstances of David’s dilemma:
David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father’s household heard about it, they went down to him there. All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their commander. About four hundred men were with him.
If misery loves company, David had found his tribe! Can you imagine the chatter among 400 men who were in distress, in debt or discontented? It was from this sad state of affairs that David penned these words of lament in Psalm 142:1-4 (NIV):
I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. In the path where I walk people have hidden a snare for me. Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.
David’s experience left him feeling abandoned and discarded. He names his feelings of victimization, but he does it all in prayerful song. He is naming his complaint before God. The “magic” of lament is that it takes the raw pain of life and instead of allowing it to churn inside of me and make me sick, I direct it to God to find perspective and healing.
Recently, I have had a thought about the domination of laments in the Bible’s songbook. If one-third of it is laments, how come our worship whether contemporary or traditional seems to be void of it? We have a plethora of hymns and songs of adoration and praise. From “O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing” to “Holy, Holy, Holy,” from “Shout to the Lord” to “Raise a Hallelujah,” our churches beautifully resound in declaring the greatness and goodness of God. What I’ve not heard are songs of “Oh, Lord how long?” that end in doxology like the raw lyrics of scripture.
Now I’m not suggesting that one third of our worship singing needs to laments, but I do think that songs of lament could assist the church in being more honest and move us all towards maturity in Christ. One of my go-to spoken worship invocations is, “Some think that coming to worship means I leave my sorrows and pains in the parking lot, but I say, ’No!’ I say, ‘Bring your pain and sorrow in here in the presence of God to make sense of it and finding healing from it.’” One of the beauties of the entirety of scripture is that it does not sanitize life. It brings faith in God to bear on the full scope of life’s horrors. Subjects often taboo in everyday life conversations are told front and center with all its pain and sorrow. Betrayal, murder, rape, deceit, and enslavement are told in family stories in the first 50 chapters of the Bible alone. Life is a contact sport leaving us battered and bruised. Where does the benevolence of God fit in this sad human drama? I know that I need a faith with some dirt rubbed on it. Laments do that.
Yesterday, I was in my car headed for my final session for this school year as a reading mentor at Allen Park Elementary School in Fort Myers. This is a ministry of my church, Grace Church. My practice for the past few years has been to drive in silence. This has been good for my soul. But for whatever reason, I turned on the radio to a Christian station. The song that was playing was “When I Fall” by Katy Nicole. Her sweet voice filled my Honda CRV with honest confession before God. It was a sweet melody of lament. She poured out her sorrow before the only One capable of hearing it and bringing comfort. I found in my drive to the school, my soul resonating with the words,
“Lord, I can't find You right now. And everything is crashin' down. I’m losin' faith and fallin' into my doubts. How long will I have to fight just for me to stay alive? I know You're there, God, please just meet me here tonight.”
Though in that very moment driving down Cleveland Avenue, I had very little to lament about, my heart awakened. My struggles of the moment found a resting place in Katy’s candid lyrics.
But lament is not just a corporate worship practice. It is also a private worship habit that like all practices can be developed. In my apprenticeship to Jesus, ruthless honesty before God has been a slow developing spiritual muscle. Daily, I have a habit I call “the 5-1-2.” I write out five things I am grateful for, one thing that is bothering me and two things to make the day a great day. Gratitude points my mind toward the multitude of God’s plentiful provision in my life and away from a mindset of scarcity. Naming two actionable items daily helps me set my mind towards progress in my wellness. But it’s the naming of one thing that is bothering me helps me get in touch of the sadness and sorrow that is often beneath the surface of my life. It is fuel for my lament.
What I am championing is bringing our despondency and despair before God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It is a holy habit for God’s people whether in corporate gatherings or private prayer closets. Here is a video of Katy Nicole’s song “When I Fall.” May her words wash over you as they did me and bring you solace. Lament is a gift, my friend.
Lord, I can't find You right now
And everything is crashin' down
I'm losin' faith and fallin' into my doubts
How long will I have to fight
Just for me to stay alive?
I know You're there, God, please
Just meet me here tonight
My God, I'm tired of tryna be okay
I've prayed all the prayers I have to pray
Please don't leave me lonely
My God, I need You to hold me
My God, I'm losin' all the hope I got
I'm far beyond the point of bein' lost
I've tried, but I can't let go
'Cause God, You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall
There's hardly air in my lungs
With all the damage that's been done
Lord, please sustain me now
I know You are enough
My God, I'm tired of tryna be okay
I've prayed all the prayers I have to pray
Please don't leave me lonely
My God, I need You to hold me
My God, I'm losin' all the hope I got
I'm far beyond the point of bein' lost
I've tried, but I can't let go
'Cause God, You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall
Lord, please help me now
My soul is cryin' out
My God, I'm tired of tryna be okay
I've prayed all the prayers I have to pray
Please don't leave me lonely
My God, I need You to hold me
My God, I'm losin' all the hope I got
I'm far beyond the point of bein' lost
I've tried, but I can't let go
'Cause God, You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall
You catch me when I fall