When Grief and Compassion Collide
From my S.O.A.P. Journal
Scripture
When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
Matthew 14:13-14 (NIV)
Observation
Matthew recounts the unjust beheading of Jesus’ cousin, John the Baptist in Matthew 14. In a caldron of sexual sin, unjust government and prophetic witness, John is murdered by King Herod. Jesus receives the news and his impulse is to withdraw to an “eremos” wilderness place, a spot of quiet solitude. This would be the space and place for Jesus to be with his Abba and grieve. The full humanity of our Rabbi needed to grieve. Lament would likely pour from the lips of Jesus to the ears of his Father in the wilderness. There was only one problem. Jesus was so popular by this time that the needy crowds intruded on the Master’s prayer time. A competing emotion was about to collide with Jesus’ grief. Compassion would also grip his heart, head and hands. Compassion in both Hebrew and Greek languages carries a depth of gut-level connection with the pain of others. In Hebrew, compassion is the word “racham” and comes from the root word for “womb” and holds the idea of tenderly carrying the sorrow of someone like a pregnant woman. In Greek, it’s the word “splagchnizomia” and literally it means to be moved in the "inward parts" or "gut," suggesting a visceral, gut-wrenching sympathy for suffering. This what Jesus felt for crowd and led him to lay aside his sorrow and embrace and engage in healing the sick. Jesus’ personal grief collided with his feelings of deep compassion for the communal suffering of the people and Jesus laid aside sorrow to embrace the sorrow of others. It’s important to note that later Jesus would once again return to the “eremos” space and place after feeding the 5000. Matthew 14:23a reports “After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.” His grief was delayed but not denied.
Application
One of the things that I am most challenged by in my everyday life is my propensity to be un-interruptible. By temperament (wounded temperament mind you), I am driven to finish tasks. I can get started on something and I will put my head down and push forward until completion. I don’t have a physical “Do Not Disturb” sign on me, but indeed my constitution does. This drivenness helps me in the projects I take on, but it can bring havoc on my relationships. Sadly, projects can become more important than people. One of my most painful moments as a dad was yelling at a very young Nathan when he interrupted me by running a remote control car into my foot while I was preparing a sermon. I yelled, “Nathan don’t bother me” and looked down to saw a note on the car that read “I love you Daddy.” Ugh! Jesus overwhelms me with his capacity to be interruptible. A quick Google search this morning and some count as many as 35 times when Jesus was interrupted in the four Gospels. One person reported that half of Jesus’ miracles occurred as interruptions. The Spirit keeps gently reminding me in these days to be careful and not allow my journey of self-awareness to drift into self-absorption. Boundaries are good, right and important, but I have to listen to the Spirit and pay attention to my “gut.” Compassion is not self-created. It’s a cultivated sensitivity to the Holy Spirit’s prompting.
Prayer
Lord, help me to be like my Rabbi. Make me sensitive to the Spirit’s nudges to be more interruptible. Amen.